Breaking up is hard to do. Even if you’re the one initiating the breakup, it’s a tough thing to struggle with. You might feel guilty or still have feelings for your partner, but feel that it’s the right thing to do. And if you’re on the other end, it could come out of nowhere and completely blindside you. Even when the breakup is a mutual decision, it is often upsetting and hard to adjust to. There are lots of emotions involved, and it can have a huge effect on your life. With so much emotional turmoil, it can be easy to lose your way a bit. Everyone makes mistakes, but there are some you can avoid making during and after a breakup. If you’re careful about what you do and say, you can have fewer regrets later in life.
Being Cruel to Yourself
A breakup can be a huge knock to your self-esteem. If someone breaks up with you, you can spend a long time trying to work out what’s “wrong” with you. And when you’re the one doing the breaking up, you can start to feel like a horrible person. However, it’s important to remember that some relationships aren’t meant to be. Some of them end because of the actions of either party, but it’s not always someone’s fault. If someone breaks up with you, it doesn’t mean you’re unloveable or undateable. If you break up with your partner, it doesn’t make you the bad person. It would be worse to stay with someone if you don’t love them, or they don’t love you.
Spending Too Long Wondering What Went Wrong
After a breakup, it can be useful to examine why it occurred. It’s especially useful if you feel like the same things seem to happen across a string of relationships. It can be helpful to examine how you choose your partners or your behaviour patterns. But it’s not always worth dwelling on what went wrong with the relationship. You can learn from your mistakes, but you can’t mold yourself into the perfect partner. Eventually, it’s time to accept that you couldn’t have done anything more to fix the relationship.
Trying to Get Back Together Too Soon
When a relationship ends, they aren’t always over for good. There can be a chance of getting back together, and many people do. However, that doesn’t mean that it’s always a good idea to try to reconnect with someone. And if you think you do want to do it, you should make sure it’s not too soon. It’s best to give yourself time to adjust and understand how you’re feeling. You might decide that it was for the best, and you should go your separate ways. Maybe you want to try to be friends, or perhaps you would like to attempt to get back together. If you want to reconnect, ExBackExpertise’s texting advice stresses how important it is to wait. You both need space to cool down after the breakup before deciding on your next move.
Remembering Your Relationship as Perfect
When you break up, it’s common to start viewing your relationship differently. It’s also possible you never noticed the problems that were present in the first place. After your breakup, you have some time to think about whether it was as good as you thought it was. Don’t fall into the trap of imagining it was perfect, even if you knew that wasn’t true before the breakup. The relationship had flaws, and so did your partner, and even you. You haven’t lost someone who could do no wrong or a relationship you can’t replace. There’s always the possibility of moving on to better things.
Mourning for Too Long
Everyone needs some time to feel sad after a breakup. You may even feel devastated if you were together for a long time. But it’s important to remember that you can’t be down forever. There are also appropriate time periods for particular relationships. If you dated someone for a couple of months, you can’t spend the next year mourning the one that got away. Even if you lost someone you loved and shared a lot of your life with, you can’t stop living forever. There is a time when everyone needs to admit that it’s time to move on and perhaps start dating again.
Halting Your Life
Another mistake that some people make is to stop living their life. They’re too busy being upset that they stop doing the things they enjoy. But if all you do is go to work and mope at home, you’ll have nothing to think about but the breakup. It’s much better to get out there and have fun, even if you don’t feel like it at first. You should spend time with your friends and possibly make some new ones too. You might even meet someone new who could interest you romantically. You’ll have other things to focus on, so you aren’t dwelling on the breakup. In fact, you might enjoy some time as a single person.
Starting a New Relationship Too Quickly
Even though you should move on from your breakup, you should be sure not to do it too soon. You don’t want to make someone your rebound relationship because it’s not fair on them or you. You can’t have a healthy relationship with someone new if you haven’t dealt with your breakup. You need to give yourself time to adjust to being on your own before you decide if you’re ready for something new.
Refusing to Deal with It
Just as you shouldn’t wallow in the breakup for too long, you shouldn’t ignore your feelings either. You should allow yourself time to work through your emotions and decide how you feel. If you push everything away, it could all build up and come spilling out later on. Make sure you reflect on all your feelings about the relationship and the breakup.
Breakups are upsetting, but there are right and wrong ways to deal with them. Avoid making some big mistakes to come out of it feeling better.