Life is full of happy and wonderful moments, as well as difficult and stressful ones, and while good times give us energy and purpose, those difficult ones make us wonder if we can make it. You have probably married your partner believing that your marriage will last forever, but people and circumstances change, and now you have to deal with a divorce. A divorce is emotionally exhausting – the troubles and stress begin before you sign the divorce papers and last afterwards, too. There are things that can help you deal with a stressful divorce and make you calmer and stronger.
Don’t bottle your emotions up
You will inevitably experience an array of not-so-pleasant emotions such as grief, anger, resentment, doubt, regret, and guilt – and this is just the early stage of a difficult divorce. In order to shield themselves from feeling this way, people don’t take time to grieve and start bottling up their emotions pretending they’re fine all the time. You shouldn’t do that, it’s exhausting and counterproductive. Give yourself time to grieve, let yourself be hurt and angry for a while, and learn to manage your emotions in a healthy way – different forms of meditation are available and you can benefit from them a lot.
Mind the legal matters
One in three marriages in Australia ends in divorce, and yet a great number of these divorce proceedings get prolonged or delayed because they weren’t properly served to the other person. If you’re hoping to avoid these complications, you can hire a good solicitor to help you make sure everything is taken care of. Separation between spouses is going to be difficult no matter what, and it’s best if you make sure all the legal matters are on point. Talk to your lawyer and take care of settlement agreements, child support, spousal maintenance, recovery orders, and parenting plans. There is no way you can do this on your own, so choose your lawyer carefully – this will also help you save your nerves and spare you some unnecessary stress.
Reach out to others
You may think it’s best if you go through your divorce alone; maybe you don’t want to ‘bother’ your friends or you don’t want your family to worry, but it’s exactly the opposite of what you should do. While it’s true that you have to help yourself and that you alone know how bad you feel, having a friend or a family member by your side is helpful. They don’t have to give you advice or magically solve all your problems, but they can ease your loneliness by spending time with you, and they can give you a hug or comfort you when you feel down. After all, that’s what friends and family are for.
Look to the future
It’s difficult to see things the other way, but a divorce is not only a disaster in your life – it can be a chance for personal growth and self-discovery, too. This is the time to think about yourself, learn a new craft, find a new hobby, reconnect with old friends and make new ones, declutter your environment, and learn to forgive. A divorce is an opportunity for change; you don’t have to compromise anymore or put your career and hobbies on hold. Think about all the things you loved but had to let go, and set up future goals you will aspire to.
Set your priorities straight
There will be different decisions to make for sure: maybe you will have to find a new place to live, or get a job, or decide when you want to start dating again. Still, there are decisions which should be made sooner rather than later. If you ‘wait for the dust to settle’, you might find yourself in financial or career problems, so it’s best to prioritize your decisions as soon as possible. Decide which things should be taken care of soon, and give yourself time to deal with others later.
It is sad that you and/or your partner don’t want to be married anymore, but getting a divorce is also a responsible thing to do. Find a way to deal with the situation, keep your emotions under control and avoid the traps of being exposed to too much stress. Keep an open heart and mind, and don’t lose faith in love because of this bad experience.