4 Things to Have in Mind If You Want to Get Back With Your Ex

Going through a breakup can be hard on its own, but having warm feelings for the person you end a relationship with can be even more confusing. At some point, you might think that getting back together with your ex is the only way to get over it. Relationships between people are complex and sometimes there might be unanswered questions that stop you from moving on.

However, if you are sure that you want to be back with your ex, it is important to stay realistic about the situation. Getting back together with an ex can be complicated and there are no guarantees of success. Be sure that this decision comes from a place of love instead of desperation, otherwise, your relationship is set for another disastrous ending. Here are some things to keep in mind if you want to get back with your ex.

Pay attention to their communication

Learning how to identify people’s intentions or emotions, especially if you end the relationship with passionate arguments and hurtful words, can be complicated. Expressions of love can be mixed with hurt and anger, which makes it difficult to figure out if there is still some room for reconciliation. 

One way that might help is to pay attention to how your ex talks about you or refers to their relationship or their plans. Many signs can reveal how your ex still has feelings for you, check them out at https://www.coaching-online.org/signs-your-ex-is-pretending-to-be-over-you. It will help you identify are thy pretending to be over you with the intent to lure you back and pique your interest, or if their approach is sincere and friendly for the sake of “staying in touch”.

If they talk about the good times lined up together in the future, this might indicate some level of commitment towards getting back together. On the other hand, if your ex uses negative language when talking about your past relationship or keeps bringing up what happened as a reason not to get back together, these are signs that they have made their choice and it isn’t you.

Remember why you broke up

When you separate ways with an incompatible partner, it is easier to realise what you need or don’t want in a future significant other. When you are still caught up in the aftermath of a breakup, your judgment might be clouded by emotions and memories, making it hard for you to move on. Remembering why you broke up might help define if this relationship has long-term potential or if it’s something that was doomed from the start.

When reuniting with an ex, assess whether your values align or if one of you ends up compromising too much to make the relationship work. If there are important moral principles that are compromised when you end things, these can also act as barriers in reconciling with your ex. For example, cheating is considered unacceptable in most cultures and communities. If your ex cheated on you, it’s very unlikely that they will stop cheating when you get back together because this behavior is habitual.

Stay focused on yourself

Having high self-esteem and confidence in yourself are the cornerstones of every healthy relationship. When you come to terms with who you are and what your needs are, relationships become easier because your smallest fears or doubts won’t determine the fate of the relationship. As an individual, it can be difficult to navigate through life without somebody by your side because it feels like something is missing out of life. However, having somebody around isn’t always beneficial if they aren’t good for you.

Even though getting back together with someone familiar might seem like a solution to loneliness, in the end, don’t tell them how much you miss them or how much better things were when you were together because this sounds like an ultimatum that puts pressure on them. Make sure that any gestures towards getting back together are coming from a place of friendship without any strings attached. While getting back together is not guaranteed to work out, it’s better to stay strong and independent. Instead of looking for someone who will complete you, look for someone who will complement you and make up for your shortcomings.

Don’t try too hard

What exactly does ‘trying too hard’ mean? When you meet your ex again after a breakup, don’t approach them with gifts or affection because they might misconstrue it as desperation. They might think that you want to get back together because you feel like you can’t live without them or there’s nobody better in the world for you.

Even though getting back together is something worth trying after a breakup, don’t make any false promises in case your plans fail again in the future. Areas of incompatibility shouldn’t be ignored just so both of you can stay together in the short term. If there are things about your partner that make you unhappy, it is better to face these problems before getting back into another relationship with them.


Although it’s challenging to maintain an equal level of independence and mutual support when starting a serious relationship, remaining on equal footing might help ensure that both people are equally invested in the future of this specific pairing. It takes time to build trust and overcome past mistakes, but if you want to rekindle a romance, try not to shy away from difficult conversations.

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