I had my 45th birthday yesterday. Even though it was in iso, I had a lovely day regardless. My family spoilt me and their love means the world to me and that’s all that really matters in life. Being with your loved ones, not material stuff or fleeting attention online by strangers.
Upon reflection on this birthday, I’ve come to realise a few things that change as you hit your 40s. You come into your own as a person and are more mindful who you give your time to. You won’t stand for BS. You care less, or in my case don’t really care what other people think of you (in reality, if they have a negative opinion of you, then that is usually their own issue/s they are projecting anyway). Be yourself and do what you love. At the end of the day, that’s the only person you can please anyway.
Things CAN wait. I had (and sometimes still have) the propensity to require everything to get done NOW. That includes parenting, my work, the house etc and then I end up in an overwhelmed heap. A constant state of busyness is not good for anyone, but it’s something that we have been made to believe we should be. The constant strive for the next hustle, keeping up with the next beauty, fashion, fitness or health fad and looking like a model, the amount of books read, the perfect children, the spotless display home house… it’s never ending. Just stop! Things will get done in time, prioritise what is important and go from there.
Going back to the beauty fad, have you noticed that the people who get the fillers/botox/facelifts all end up looking the same? The same expressionless, puffy face with a V shape. The more procedures they get done, the more they want and the more obscure their vision of beauty is distorted. I’m all for getting things done if you want to feel good about yourself or need it but when is enough enough? The beauty and cosmetic beauty industry isn’t built on people feeling good about themselves, it’s about making you feel bad enough about yourself that you think you need to get these things done. When are we going to stand up and say we ARE enough. We are all beautiful in our own way. Wouldn’t the world be boring if we all looked the same? It would be like living in a never ending world of The Bachelor or Love Island contestants of varying skin and hair colours.
Apparently, ageing is a bad thing but it is actually a privilege. I’ve lost two close friends, who were the same age as me, to stage 4 breast cancer. I’m sure they would have loved to be celebrating their 45th birthday this year too. My Mum would have loved to have seen her grandchildren grow up into the amazing men they are becoming. Which brings me to my next thought…
Live everyday like there isn’t a tomorrow. Get off your phone and social media and spend time with those who mean the most to you. Our kids grow up so quickly, will they remember the times they spent with you or the amount of time you spend on your phone? OK, yes I am guilty of that and yes, now I regret it. I might write a separate post about this. Make time to spend with your parents, family, friends. You don’t know what might happen tomorrow. If Covid19 has shown us anything from being separated from those we love, is that we should spend more time with them when we have the opportunity to do so.
Experiences over stuff. OK, I used to be the one that had to have the latest fashions and homewares etc but in the last 5 years or so, I’ve come to realise that that’s all it is. Stuff. How much money would I have saved if I had only bought things I needed or truly loved? A lot! Seriously, you can only wear so many clothes or shoes.
Now, for me, it’s all about purchasing things that I love and will stand the test of time. Quality over quantity. Being more environmentally conscious. Buying sustainably. Reusing, recycling or upcycling things we already have instead of buying something new (there will be more of these types of projects I’ll share with you on here soon).
“Stuff” doesn’t make you happy. Experiences do. Get out there and do more of what you enjoy doing. For me, that means getting out to the country more and exploring this beautiful varied landscape of ours that we are lucky to call home. Going to the zoo and wildlife parks (animals make me happy). The sun, the bush, the ocean all make me feel good. Going to the movies. Theatre, comedy shows, music gigs, musicals, the ballet and art. There is so much that can move our soul and entice our mind.
I’ll be sharing more experiences on here once we can get out and about and do things again.
So there are a few of my mid 40s musings. What have you learned as you have aged?