Maybe you’ve been feeling tired lately. Your libido seems low. Sex just isn’t fun and spontaneous the way it was. Even worse, maybe sex has become boring and a routine. This is normal. Desire and the energy for sex ebbs and flows in all relationships. The good news is that it can be addressed pretty easily by taking a few simple steps to energise your bedroom antics once again.
Here are the tips you need to get those sparks flying in the bedroom again.
1. Exercise Just Before Sex
Exercising will generally help to increase your stamina and strength in the bedroom, but you can immediately take advantage of the release of endorphins that occurs just after you exercise to have more energetic, positive sex. Endorphins make you feel happier, you tend to have a more positive body image gets from exercising, and the increased blood flow around your body increases bodily sensitivity. These are all mental and physical benefits of exercise that will translate directly into the bedroom.
2. Have Fantasy Sex
This can be as simple as wearing a blindfold and allowing your partner choose what to do. By removing the sense of vision, you heighten sensitivity in the other senses, responding more to touch, sound and hearing. The lack of knowing what’s coming next increases anticipation and excitement so that even routine actions feel extra sexy. If you want to make things even more exciting, think about role play. Get into doctor and nurse mode or play a stripper and her client. Find out what makes things interesting for you. Talk to your partner about what they like, and experiment until you find something that works for both of you.
3. More Lubricant
Sometimes, foreplay just is not enough. Even in cases where a female gets wet enough, using lubricant can still help with increased sensation. A woman’s arousal varies depending on the time of the month and the stresses she’s experiencing around her. Using lubricants helps to ensure that you can enjoy sex at all times, but they can also make sex a bit more interesting. Look out for lubricants that come with flavour, sensation (some are warming or cooling) or even lubricants that have special additives to provide additional clitoral or g-spot stimulation.
4. Buy Some Toys
Sex toys are becoming more and more mainstream, almost essential in fact. However, they’re still largely thought of as a woman’s thing thanks to the role of Sex and the City and 50 Shades of Grey in portraying them as pleasure devices for women. You can purchase men’s sex toys as well as women’s, so pleasure is not limited for either partner. Need some inspiration? Think about where you most like to be stimulated. For men this can be the perineum, rectum or the head of his penis and for women popular spots include nipples and the clitoris. There is a vast range of toys available for all these pleasure spots. Browse some online stores together to see what you might like.
5. Eat Healthy Foods
If you feel bloated, backed up or lacking energy, you’ll have a hard time enjoying any physical activity fully. It’s hardly news, but eating the right foods can do wonders for how inclined you are to get kinky at night time. If go to bed after an oily take out, or a carb heavy meal, you might find that your body is working hard to digest food and you don’t have the energy for sex. A lighter meal will help you feel a bit more limber and energetic for sex in the evening. Healthy foods also have an effect on how the mind reacts to stimuli. In general, people who watch their diet also have steamier sex.
6. Stop Watching Porn
Porn presents an unattainable fantasy. Your mind can become overstimulated by the porn images you repeatedly consume. So when it comes to the actual act, you might find it a bit dull. It can make feeling sexually aroused difficult unless you’re watching porn. If you switch off those erotic images, you will have an easier time being sexually excited. Many studies have shown that porn is not good for a healthy sexual relationship. Too much porn makes you view sex as something impersonal and distant. You can find out details here about how porn affects your brain.
7. Exercise your Pelvic Floor Muscles
Both men and women can do these exercises to help improve their sex lives. The pelvic floor muscles are the muscles that control urination amongst other things, which is why when you need to pee you find it natural to pull up on your pelvic floor to hold it in. These muscles tend to weaken as you age, which can impact your sexual experience. By doing regular practice on lifting, holding and releasing your pelvic floor muscles, a man will find he has a stronger erection and women may have stronger orgasms. You should attempt to do these exercises several times a week. It only requires a few minutes at a time to train these muscles, and you can even do it lying in bed so there are no excuses not to!
8. Check Your Medication
At times, even the simple medication you take to treat a flu virus could inhibit sexual pleasure. Some medication has been known to halt how pleasurable a woman feels and make it hard for a man to get an erection. If you seem to experience these problems, check the kind of drugs you are using. But, don’t just stop taking prescribed medication. Check with your doctor and ask for his or her professional advice on what is best to do.
Sex should never feel like a chore. If it’s becoming a tiring effort, or if it’s a rare occurrence, try taking on some of these tips listed above. Speak to your partner and find out how they’re feeling about it, and you may find that you’re both keen to spice things up. You never know what you might learn about your partner’s desires in the process.